Habits of a Happy Husband Part II

Last year around this time I wrote a post about habits I learned from my first year of marriage (Habits of a Happy Husband). I greatly benefit from those principles and now I wish to add more lessons I have learned during my second year of marriage.

1. Seek to understand then be understood 

This is a principle from Stephen Covey's book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It's a principle of listening. We all have two ears and one mouth, but sometimes we use our mouth twice as much as our ears. I have learned to shut my mouth and not just listen with my ears but listen with an open heart. If you rearrange the letters in LISTEN you get SILENT. That makes all the difference. Learn to listen to your spouse.

2. Show appreciation for your spouse

This is more than just showing appreciation for the things your spouse does. Rather, it's showing appreciation for who they are as a person and as your spouse. Take time to look your spouse in the eyes and appreciate them for their character. Saying things like "I love how your smile brightens up my day" or "I love  your passion for helping others" will make them feel valued and appreciated as a spouse. They need to feel that everyday.

3. Fall in Love Everyday

This was crucial for me and my wife. There was a point in our marriage that we were just going through marital motions. It felt like we were just living together rather than being married together. We love each other but we hadn't fallen in love for a while. We found some ways to fall in love again and we try to do this consistently.

These are simple and practical habits to develop. I am not perfect at them, but I try my best to be the best husband to my wife. I know that she is doing her best to be the best wife to me. We simply do the best with what we know and strive to be better every day. 

3 Ways to Fall in Love with Your Spouse Again

Marriage is wonderful and beautiful. However, sometimes we find ourselves in marital ruts that takes the "merry" out of being married. In my own marriage I have used these principles to get out of those ruts and bring the beauty back into marriage.

Show Your Gratitude for Your Spouse

This is different than just telling your spouse thank you for doing the dishes or folding the laundry. It's validating them as your spouse. Give them honest and sincere appreciation for who they are as your spouse rather than what they do. Sometimes I'll tell my wife, "I'm so grateful that you're my wife" or "You're such a great housewife." It makes her smile and that makes me happy.

Reminisce 

Take a trip down memory lane. This is one of my favorite things to do with my wife. The other day we had a look at a photo album and it was really neat to see all the fun things we had done together. When we retrace our life's journey together we're reminded of the moments that brought us closer together. Feelings of love and closeness fill our hearts as we fall in love again.

Tell Them Why You Love Them TODAY 

It's very common to rush through love. "I love you" is our script as either one of us leaves the house and it's almost mechanical and past feeling. Understandably, life can get hectic and we're either late for school or an important meeting, but let's not lose sight of our most important priority: our spouses. Don't burn out the love in your relationship with the pedal to the metal, but simply enjoy the ride with them. Take them in your arms and tell them why you love them today. This will rekindle love's fire and bring you two closer together.